As I was driving to work today there was a very nice looking Cadillac SUV in front of me. It had a vanity plate that said 4 God. And below that, on the plate’s frame, was this:
Everything I Have Is
And I thought, even your Cadillac? Really? How do you plan to get that pretty SUV up to God’s house in Heaven? Are you driving it to him? Right now? Or is it already his and maybe he’s letting you borrow it, drive it around down here for while?
My husband and I have been married for 14 years now. Our Wedding Anniversary was this past Tuesday. On that very night I heard my son say to my husband, “I wish you and mom would get a divorce already!” My husband was taken aback. I heard him ask “Why? Why do you want us to get a divorce?” to which my son responded, “Because then I could marry mom!” My husband assured him that even if he did come around and divorce me, that Snags still wouldn’t be allowed to marry his mother. There are laws against that you know.
I was out on a long run recently when I came upon two men running toward me. I caught just a snippet of their conversation but it was enough to make me turn around to get a second glance at the speaker. He said to his friend, “Yeah, it’s dangerous, but I do it anyway.” I wondered if he thought he came across as brave, because I thought he came across as stupid, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see his picture linked to a Darwin Award next year. I am actually hoping to see this, so I can find out WHAT the dangerous thing he used to do was.
I cannot sew. I’m not proud of that, but it’s true, and I don’t try to hide the fact. That is why I buy my son’s Halloween costumes. This year, as you might have guessed, he’s going to be Darth Vader. There is a kid in our neighborhood who copies my son’s every move and ends up with the same costume every year. This irritates my son and me to no end, and this year, as expected, neighbor kid is dressing as Darth Vader. But neighbor kid’s mom is oblivious and happy because she has a cardboard Darth Vader mask and has decided that she can dress her kid in black pants and black shirt, and voila, she’s made a Darth Vader costume. My son heard her telling me about this and he said “You aren’t supposed to MAKE Halloween costumes! You are supposed to BUY them!” Neighbor kid’s mom was not happy about that comment. I suspect she will be considerably unhappier when she sees Snags dressed in his store bought Darth Vader finest on the 31st.